he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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