everyone is single if you try hard enough
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
