I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
