I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
