With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
