Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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