Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
