She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
