he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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