Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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