so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
