After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
