we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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