i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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