She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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