My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
