It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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