Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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