We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize