Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
