Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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