I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
