I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize