So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
