i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
