I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
