Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
