so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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