We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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