Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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