peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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