p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize