His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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