I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize