what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
