Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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