I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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