She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
