so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
