Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
