i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
