Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
