found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you win again, gameday.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
