I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
