she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
