How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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