when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
