All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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