He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So. Much. Porn.
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