he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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