I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
