super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
