Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
