so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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