she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
