she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
