If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
