i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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