I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
