Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
