butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Holy sore nipples Batman
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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