Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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