Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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