its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
