Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
