I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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