So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you didnt know i had herpes?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
