seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
