STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
