Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he thought i was a dude.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
