haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
