I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just invented taco cereal.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize