last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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