***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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