The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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