and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The feeling are messing with the penis
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
