i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
