I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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