i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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