When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
