After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I supernannyed him into submission
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
